How Will Using Donor Eggs Affect My Ability to Bond with My Baby?
It’s a common worry among parents using donor eggs: Will it be harder for me to bond with my baby if I’m not genetically related to it? Or even impossible? For many, the decision to pursue a donor egg birth is complicated and full of difficult emotions. After arriving at the choice to use donor eggs, concerns over bonding can feel like yet another obstacle standing between you and the family of your dreams.
Your fears are perfectly natural, and shared by many others on this journey. But at the end of the day, what bonds a baby to its parent(s) in those early days is love and care. In fact, most aspiring parents who use an egg donor to have a baby report feeling gratitude once they’re finally holding their baby in their arms.
How to Create a Bond With Your Donor Egg Baby
You’ll be happy to hear that there’s essentially no difference between how donor egg parents and biological parents bond with newborn babies. Many of the same practices apply, and plenty of donor egg parents confirm these techniques work well for bringing them and their little one closer together.
Talk to Your Baby in Utero
Did you know that your baby can recognize your voice as early as 25 weeks into the pregnancy? Yes, they’re listening. Take advantage of the time in utero to talk or sing to your baby – they love soft, soothing sounds. Creating this familiarity will make bonding easier later, as yours will be a voice they already know by heart.
Create Skin-to-Skin Contact
It’s no secret that skin-to-skin contact is a powerful way to help any baby transition to life outside the womb. The benefits are many: not only is it calming for parents and babies, but skin-to-skin contact also helps to regulate the newborn’s heartbeat, breathing, temperature, and appetite. Skin-to-skin contact is also valuable in the months that follow birth, so practice it early and often.
Use a Baby Carrier or Sling
Sure, you’ll be bonding with your baby during one-on-one feeding or playtime, but what about when other tasks call? A baby carrier or sling is a great way to bring your baby along for the ride. They’ll feel safe and close to you, while also becoming familiar with your body, smell, voice, and overall essence. You can smile at your baby, make eye contact, and carry on a conversation – all while making sure your to-do list gets done.
Connect With Other Donor Parents and Specialized Resources
Being a donor parent is a unique experience, so don’t go it alone. Seek out support groups and community organizations to meet others who are on the same journey as you. Talk to your fertility specialist – having an expert opinion on hand is always good for peace of mind. You can also check out the many books that discuss modern family building and egg donation. The more you surround yourself with helpful voices, the better off you and your new family will be.
Give it Time and Trust the Process
If you’re like many parents, via egg donation or otherwise, your concerns over bonding with your new baby will vanish once you’re cradling your sweetheart in your arms. But even so, know that it takes time to create that bond. Not to mention that a mother’s hormones fluctuate quite a bit after you give birth, so if you’re feeling moody, don’t jump to conclusions! Be patient, look after your health, be kind to yourself, and enjoy the process as you and your baby form a beautiful connection to last a lifetime.
Questions? We’re here for you.
If you have questions about using an egg donor to become a parent or are ready to take the next step in your family-building journey, contact MyEggBank today.