Three Ways to Support Your Partner While Using a Frozen Egg Donor
Sometimes — even though you and your partner are trying to start a family together — fertility treatments can feel like a solo experience. For men, you’re asked to produce sperm samples in a collection room. For women, you undergo certain procedures with a fertility specialist rather than your partner. You each might be taking hormones or medication, and you might talk to separate physicians who work to help you overcome your individual infertility challenges.
With words like “solo,” “separate” and “individual” often describing the egg donation process and other fertility treatment experiences, it’s no wonder you might (on occasion) feel a lack of support from your partner. Here are a few ways to shake off those feelings and garner a little partner support during this exciting, if sometimes stressful, time.
Share your perspective
One of the first and most essential parts of providing support during fertility treatments is making sure your lines of communication are open. Don’t keep your half of the process a secret from your partner. If you take some time to speak openly about what’s happening to your bodies, your emotions — and even your finances — you’ll likely continue to feel like the couple who started this process together, with a single goal in mind: to start (or grow) your family.
Schedule together time
When was the last time you and your partner went on a date? If fertility treatments are causing you to feel strapped for time and money, it’s likely that you haven’t gone to a nice restaurant or seen a fun movie in a while. While there are lots of affordable date options — for example, a picnic in the park, a hike in the woods — the issue you probably face is limited time. As with most activities, you have to make time.
It’s also a good idea to take your “date” time separately from your “share” time. In other words, when you go on date night with your partner, talk about the other things that interest you, besides infertility. Reconnect with the topics that brought you together in the first place.
Remember to show that you care
Not everyone is comfortable with public displays of affection (PDA), but it’s important you show your partner some love — publicly, privately or both. Words can go only so far. According to Psychology Today, moments of affection such as hugging and kissing help your bodies produce oxytocin, the so-called “love hormone”.
The bottom line is that it’s a good idea to be open, spend some time together, and communicate as much as possible during fertility treatments. Supporting your partner in these ways can make the whole process easier, and possibly even more successful.